Readings for today: 2 Samuel 1-4
I got a call from my oldest friend the other day. His mom passed away recently and he asked me if I would officiate at the memorial service. I was honored. After all, I’ve known Kyle since I first moved to Colorado. He and I went to elementary school together. We were in Boy Scouts. We hung out all the time in high school. We attended each other’s weddings. When he lost his mom, I too was grieved because of all the memories I have of her from growing up.
I reached out to another friend when I was in Central Asia last week. I met Tim in college right after becoming a Christian. Tim and I did Bible study together and served in our campus ministry together. When I got married, Tim was my best man. When he got married - literally two weeks later - I was one of his groomsmen. When he and his wife went on staff with a parachurch ministry, my wife and I were one of his early supporters. It’s been an honor to stay in touch with him over the years and follow the work God has done in and through him. That’s why I reached out to him while overseas. The people I was with are part of the same ministry Tim is with and it made me so grateful for our friendship and partnership in the gospel over so many years.
I hope you have friends like Kyle and Tim in your life. People who are close to you. People you could call at 2AM if you were in crisis. People who would pray for you, support you, encourage you, and bless you. People who are very dear to you. That’s what Jonathan was to David. He was David’s closest and dearest friend. Though they were technically rivals for the throne of Israel, Jonathan willingly gave up his rights for the sake of their friendship and David honored Jonathan in return. When Jonathan dies, David grieves. The loss is painful and personal for him. In fact, he even says his love for Jonathan was more special to him than the love of women. “I grieve over you, my brother Jonathan! You were very dear to me. Your love was more special to me than the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:26 NET) The loss of Jonathan represents not only the loss of a close friend but the death of their dreams of ruling Israel together.
Now some have suggested this passage is an oblique ancient reference to a homoerotic relationship. It’s utter nonsense. Those who support such a view are reading their own point of view back into the text. Sadly, in our culture today, we have hypersexualized every relationship. We falsely believe that if we feel a deep, emotional connection to someone then we must desire them sexually. We don’t have modern categories for platonic friendships anymore whereas such things were common in the ancient world. Our lives are the poorer for it. The epidemic of loneliness and isolation is largely due in part to the loss of deep friendships. The reality is far too many of us don’t have a close friend. We don’t have someone we can call at 2AM in a crisis. We don’t have someone with whom we can bare our soul. This is not God’s design. He created us for deep friendships, especially in the Body of Christ.
p.s. If you need help getting started, let me recommend picking up the book, Receive, by Jeff Kemp. It’s geared towards men but is equally applicable to women. Very practical guide to how to begin forming deep friendships.
Readings for tomorrow: Psalms 6, 9, 10, 14, 16, 21