Why it Matters - Self-Examination

Readings for today: Lamentations 3:37-5:22

One of the blessings of suffering is an opportunity for self-examination. A chance to reflect and consider the ways I may have contributed to the pain I am experiencing. It’s all too easy to blame others when we suffer. I think of a conversation I had recently with a young person who was talking about the trauma they experienced in high school. I have no doubt it was hard. I have no doubt they were bullied at times. I have no doubt they didn’t always get the support they needed. However, as I pointed out to them, they too bear some responsibility for the pain they experienced. They skipped class. They refused to listen to their teachers. They ignored their parents. All these things contributed to what they suffered. The same is often true when I counsel couples who are struggling in their marriage. It is extremely rare that only one spouse is at fault. Usually there is blame to go around. The same was often true when I counseled inmates in prison. Yes, there are variety of social factors that may have contributed to their criminal activity but they also bear responsibility for what they have done.

It’s why I find the honesty in Lamentations refreshing. Jeremiah, the author of the book, doesn’t just blame God. He doesn’t just blame the Babylonians. He doesn’t just blame the kings of his nation. He recognizes all of God’s people are to blame on some level for the ways they contributed to their own destruction. “Why should any living person complain when punished for their sins?” (Lamentations 3:39 NET) He openly acknowledges the rebellion of God’s people against the Lord which is why he calls for self-examination in the midst of all their suffering. “Let us carefully examine our ways, and let us return to the Lord. Let us lift up our hearts and our hand to the God in heaven.” (Lamentations 3:40-41 NET) Jeremiah knows God is faithful. He knows God is merciful. He knows God is compassionate. Because he knows this about God, he is confident that when he calls on God in prayer, He will answer. “I have called on your name, O Lord, from the deepest pit. You have heard my plea: Do not close your ears to my cry for relief! You came near on the day I called to you; you said, Do not fear! O Lord, you championed my cause, you redeemed my life.” (Lamentations 3:55-58 NET) Jeremiah knows if we repent and turn to God, He will draw us into His loving embrace once again.

Repentance requires honest self-examination. It requires humble acknowledgement of all the ways we have sinned. It requires us to take responsibility for our failures rather than try to shift the blame to someone else. It’s why the discipline of regular self-examination has always been a pillar of the Christian life. I think of the Jesuits who practice the “Daily Examen.” A rigorous process of self-examination where they ruthlessly cut through all the lies we tell ourselves to get to the heart of whether or not their thoughts, words, deeds, and desires have honored God. There are many other methods as well. The point is to remain as honest and humble before God as possible so we can grow in the likeness of Christ even when we are experiencing pain and suffering.

Readings for tomorrow: Ezekiel 1-4

Why it Matters - Lament

Readings for today: Lamentations 1:1-3:36

We’ve lost the ability to lament in our culture. The ability to sit in our pain. Embrace hardship and suffering. Honestly grapple with our fears and failures. I remember officiating a funeral years ago. A young woman had been tragically killed in a murder suicide. Hey ex-boyfriend had kidnapped her and taken her to the western slope where he shot her and then turned the gun on himself. She left a six year old son behind. At the funeral, all anyone could talk about was her partying. They made light of her alcoholic and drug-addicted lifestyle. They pretended like she was a wonderful mom when by all accounts, she had neglected her son. As the pastor, it was my job to close the service with words of hope. They were hard to find. I can still see that young boy sitting by his grandmother in the front row. I focused on him. I treated the time as if he and I were the only two people in the room. I told him what happened was a tragedy. I told him it was okay to cry. Okay to feel pain. Okay to grieve. I told him his mom wasn’t perfect and she made some tragic choices in her life and it was okay to feel angry about them. Most of all, I told him it was okay to bring all those emotions to God. To be honest and real with God. To let God know how he was feeling and I told him God would meet him there. I have no idea how much of it stuck. The boy was six years old after all. But the message definitely landed with many others who attended. They were thankful someone had the courage to deal with the reality of what happened rather than pretend. I can’t tell you how many funerals over the years that I’ve officiated at where I’ve had to do something similar. We just don’t know what to do with pain. We don’t know how to honestly grieve. We don’t know how to lament.

The Book of Lamentations is not easy. Mainly because we’re so uncomfortable with the idea of lament. It’s not something we practice. It’s not something we accept in society. We much prefer rage. We much prefer bitterness. We much prefer self-righteousness. We much prefer numbness which is why we seem to have a pill for every pain a person can possibly experience. Jeremiah, however, is not afraid of lament. He is not afraid to get honest and real and raw with God. Listen to his words again from Lamentations 3:1-9 NET, “I am the man who has experienced affliction from the rod of his wrath. He drove me into captivity and made me walk in darkness and not light. He repeatedly attacks me, he turns his hand against me all day long. He has made my mortal skin waste away; he has broken my bones. He has besieged and surrounded me with bitter hardship. He has made me reside in deepest darkness like those who died long ago. He has walled me in so that I cannot get out; he has weighted me down with heavy prison chains. Also, when I cry out desperately for help, he has shut out my prayer. He has blocked every road I take with a wall of hewn stones; he has made every path impassable.” Jeremiah is talking about God. He is talking to God about his pain and suffering and he is not afraid to blame God for making it all happen. He knows God will hear his prayers. He knows God already knows how he feels. And he trusts God even with the depths of his despair. But he doesn’t end there.

Biblical lament doesn’t just plumb the depths of pain and suffering, it also offers hope. After we’ve honestly grappled with all that has happened to us. After we’ve wrestled honestly with why it has happened and our part in bringing it about. Our hearts turn to hope. Not in us. Not in a turn of fortune. Not in a second chance. But hope in God. “The Lord’s loyal kindness never ceases; his compassions never end. They are fresh every morning; your faithfulness is abundant! “My portion is the Lord,” I have said to myself, so I will put my hope in him. The Lord is good to those who trust in him, to the one who seeks him. It is good to wait patiently for deliverance from the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.” (Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭27‬ ‭NET‬‬) Lament always turns us back to hope and that’s why it’s a critical spiritual discipline. It lifts our eyes heavenward even in the midst of our pain. It reminds us God is still good, still on the throne, and still in the business of deliverance.

Readings for tomorrow: Lamentations 3:37-5:22

What’s Next?

Readings for today: Lamentations 3:37-5:22

What comes after lament? That’s a question I often deal with as a pastor. I walk with people through crisis. I sit with people in their grief. I do my best to comfort them as they mourn. I help them process their pain. After making space for all of the heartache, what comes next? After walking through the valley of the shadow of death together, what happens when one gets to the other side? Honestly, in my experience, this is where the hard work really begins.

I think of a woman I once knew who was married for decades. On the outside, things in their family looked good. He was very successful in his business. They were able to travel the world together. Pursue whatever their hearts desired. But after he passed and the funeral was over, the real truth began to emerge. Alcoholism. Abuse. A life of torment and fear. As the widow and I met to process what she was feeling, we talked about her need for healing. Her need to recover. Her need to be patient and give herself time to work through all the emotions she was experiencing. We also talked about what life would look like on the other side. Her desire to be married again. Her desire to pursue some of the dreams her husband had denied her. Her desire to reconnect with their estranged children and recover some of the years they had lost. This would require a lot of introspection and self-reflection. Owning what she needed to own and disowning what she needed to disown. Thankfully, she had the courage to walk the road faithfully before the Lord. She took up hobbies like horseback riding and cooking. She renewed her relationship with her son. She began dating a good man who treated her with the love and respect she deserved. It was beautiful to watch.

We catch Jeremiah at a much earlier, much darker place in the journey. He is still very much processing his pain. The heartache is real. The emotions are visceral. Though the reading is hard, it is good to know we can be raw and real before God. At the same time, we see the stirrings of a new season begin to emerge as well. Jeremiah calling for the people of Israel to think about what comes next after lament. Once they’ve fully grieved, they will need to take some time to reflect and repent and renew their faith and trust in God. “Who is there who speaks and it happens, unless the Lord has ordained it? Do not both adversity and good come from the mouth of the Most High? Why should any living person complain, any man, because of the punishment for his sins? Let’s examine and probe our ways, and turn back to the  Lord. Let’s lift up our hearts and our hands to God in heaven: “We have sinned and rebelled; you have not forgiven.” (Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭37‬-‭42‬ ‭CSB‬‬) Jeremiah knows what comes next. He knows the people of God must return to Him if they are to experience the healing and restoration their hearts so desperately long for.

Anyone who has ever walked with grief knows the journey well. It begins in deep darkness where it’s hard to see any light at all. Momentum begins to pick up as we take our initial steps and the darkness doesn’t seem as deep. As we continue walking the road, a light does appear at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, as we keep doing the work, we emerge into the bright sunshine of a new day. God is faithful! He will walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death and as we turn to Him - lifting up our hearts and hands in worship - He promises to cast out all our fear and bring us to green pastures and still waters, to places where we will find our souls restored.

Readings for tomorrow: Ezekiel 1-4

Lament

Readings for today: Lamentations 1:1-3:36

Lament is an invitation from God to bring Him our grief and sorrow, our pain and suffering, our doubts and confusion, our fears and anxieties. Prayers of lament can be focused on the individual or the community. The Book of Psalms contains plenty of prayers where the Psalmist cries out to God for example. The Book of Lamentations, however, is one long prayer of lament from Jeremiah over the death of the holy city of Jerusalem. It is not an easy read. The language is raw and real. The pain and grief is right at the surface for the prophet as he weeps over the destruction of his people and his way of life.

Lament is also a prayer of hope. A prayer prayed from the deepest, darkest recesses of our souls to the only One who can deliver us. It’s a primal cry. When life is stripped down to the studs and we have nothing left. It’s a cry made when we’ve reached the end of ourselves and are sitting in the dust and ashes of what’s left of our lives. When everyone has abandoned us, even those closest to us, and we find ourselves feeling all alone. In such moments - and I’ve had such moments - we find God waiting for us there. It’s powerful. It’s transformative. And it’s why in the midst of our lament, we begin to find hope.

This is what happens to Jeremiah. As he literally sits in the dust and ashes of the city he loves, surrounded by the death and destruction of the people he loves, having witnessed firsthand the horrors of war, rejected by everyone; he finds God waiting for him there. He finds God more than willing to meet him there. He finds God sitting with him in that place and his hopes are renewed. “Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! I say, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the person who seeks him. It is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord…For the Lord will not reject us forever. Even if he causes suffering, he will show compassion according to the abundance of his faithful love. For he does not enjoy bringing affliction or suffering on mankind.” (Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭26‬, ‭31‬-‭33‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

Hope for the believer is not wishful thinking. It is not blind to reality. It does not close its eyes to all the evil and injustice and suffering and pain in our world. It simply looks beyond those things to God. To the One who is faithful. To the One who pours out new mercies every morning. To the One who is good. To the One who rewards those who seek Him. To the One who answers those who wait for Him. To the One who shows compassion and steadfast love to the thousandth generation. This is why Jeremiah holds onto hope and it’s why we can have hope as well.

Readings for tomorrow: Lamentations 3:37-5:22

Prayers of Remembrance

Readings for today: Lamentations 4-5, Psalms 30

It’s okay to let God know how you really feel. It’s okay to recite back to God all you have gone through. Of course He knows it already but it’s good for us to say out loud to Him. It’s good for us to share our heartbreak and hurts with Him. God wants a dialogue not a monologue. He doesn’t want to have to read your mind or rely on His omniscience to know what’s happening in your life. He wants a relationship and in relationships, we share everything.

Lamentations five is a prayer for restoration and it begins with an interesting turn of phrase. “Lord, remember what has happened to us. Look, and see our disgrace!” (Lamentations‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬ ‭CSB‬‬) Why does Jeremiah pray for God to remember? Has God forgotten all that’s happened? Is God absent-minded? Is He forgetful? Surely not, right? Of course God remembers everything. He knows everything from beginning to end. He sees all and knows all. Past, present, and future are always laid out before Him so what is Jeremiah actually praying for here? Whenever someone prays for God to “remember” in the Bible, they are actually calling on God to act. To do something in concert with His character and the covenant promises He’s made to His people. Lord, remember what has happened to us. Lord, see our disgrace. And (implied in the text) do something about it. Restore us. Renew us. Make us righteous again in your sight. This is the heart of the prayer of remembrance. It’s calling on God to act in accordance with His will and character.

Look at how Lamentations 5 ends, “You, Lord, are enthroned forever; your throne endures from generation to generation. Why do you continually forget us, abandon us for our entire lives? Lord, bring us back to yourself, so we may return; renew our days as in former times, unless you have completely rejected us and are intensely angry with us.” (Lamentations‬ ‭5‬:‭19‬-‭22‬ ‭CSB‬‬) Jeremiah looks around sees all Israel has suffered and he asks God if it’s enough. Have we suffered enough for our sins? Have we been punished enough for our iniquities? Have we paid for our crimes? If so, bring us back to Yourself, O God, so we may return. Renew our days as in former times. Unless it’s not enough. Unless you are still righteously angry with us. Unless there is still time to be served and a price yet to be paid.

The glorious thing about these verses for Christians is that we know God has remembered. He has acted in human history to bring us back to Himself. He has acted to renew and restore us to our rightful place. The price has been paid. The time has been served. The punishment has been dealt out. All through Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus, we have nothing to fear. We are not completely rejected. God is no longer angry with us. We are at peace with Him forever.

Readings for tomorrow: Ezekiel 1-4, Psalms 31

Processing our Pain

Readings for today: Lamentations 3:37-5:22

What comes after lament? That’s a question I often deal with as a pastor. I walk with people through crisis. I sit with people in their grief. I do my best to comfort them as they mourn. I help them process their pain. After making space for all of the heartache, what comes next? After walking through the valley of the shadow of death together, what happens when one gets to the other side? Honestly, in my experience, this is where the hard work really begins.

I think of a woman I once knew who was married for decades. On the outside, things in their family looked good. He was very successful in his business. They were able to travel the world together. Pursue whatever their hearts desired. But after he passed and the funeral was over, the real truth began to emerge. Alcoholism. Abuse. A life of torment and fear. As the widow and I met to process what she was feeling, we talked about her need for healing. Her need to recover. Her need to be patient and give herself time to work through all the emotions she was experiencing. We also talked about what life would look like on the other side. Her desire to be married again. Her desire to pursue some of the dreams her husband had denied her. Her desire to reconnect with their estranged children and recover some of the years they had lost. This would require a lot of introspection and self-reflection. Owning what she needed to own and disowning what she needed to disown. Thankfully, she had the courage to walk the road faithfully before the Lord. She took up hobbies like horseback riding and cooking. She renewed her relationship with her son. She began dating a good man who treated her with the love and respect she deserved. It was beautiful to watch.

We catch Jeremiah at a much earlier, much darker place in the journey. He is still very much processing his pain. The heartache is real. The emotions are visceral. Though the reading is hard, it is good to know we can be raw and real before God. At the same time, we see the stirrings of a new season begin to emerge as well. Jeremiah calling for the people of Israel to think about what comes next after lament. Once they’ve fully grieved, they will need to take some time to reflect and repent and renew their faith and trust in God. “Who do you think “spoke and it happened”? It’s the Master who gives such orders. Doesn’t the High God speak everything, good things and hard things alike, into being? And why would anyone gifted with life complain when punished for sin? Let’s take a good look at the way we’re living and reorder our lives under God. Let’s lift our hearts and hands at one and the same time, praying to God in heaven…” (Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭37‬-‭42‬ ‭MSG‬‬) Jeremiah knows what comes next. He knows the people of God must return to Him if they are to experience the healing and restoration their hearts so desperately long for.

Anyone who has ever walked with grief knows the journey well. It begins in deep darkness where it’s hard to see any light at all. Momentum begins to pick up as we take our initial steps and the darkness doesn’t seem as deep. As we continue walking the road, a light does appear at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, as we keep doing the work, we emerge into the bright sunshine of a new day. God is faithful! He will walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death and as we turn to Him - lifting up our hearts and hands in worship - He promises to cast out all our fear and bring us to green pastures and still waters, to places where we will find our souls restored.

Readings for tomorrow: Ezekiel 1-4

Dealing with Despair

Readings for today: Lamentations 1:1-3:36

Reading Lamentations is hard work. It’s hard to enter into the pain and heartbreak Jeremiah feels as he watches his nation be razed to the ground. All he holds dear vanishes in a moment. His friends are struck down by the enemy. Those who are left face mass starvation and forced deportation. They are beset on every side. There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. There is no peace. No security. Everything they once counted on is now gone. We can’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like. Thankfully, we’ve never had to face such things in America. But I’ve spent time with those who have. I’ve visited camps where internally displaced people live who’ve lost everything due to war and conflict and violence. The conditions they live in are brutal. The challenges they face everyday are overwhelming. The pain they go through is unbearable. Their suffering is immense. I have wept with them. Prayed with them. Done what little I can to help them. Mostly, I’ve been completely at a loss to know what to do.

Despair is hard to handle. It overwhelms the senses. It fills us with anxiety and fear. It paralyzes us. We can’t see a way forward. We can’t think straight. It leaves us feeling helpless and hopeless and utterly lost and alone. Jeremiah is expressing all these feelings and more as he writes his lament for Jerusalem and his people. He is not writing as an impartial observer. He is not concerned with being objective. He is feeling everything they are feeling. He is experiencing everything they are experiencing. His struggle with despair is just as real. But Jeremiah has one thing many of his people do not. He has faith. He trusts in the Lord. He takes his despair at all he sees and experiences to God and lays it as His feet. Listen again as he describes it in his own words…

“I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way.” (Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭19‬-‭33‬ ‭MSG‬‬)

What a powerful testimony and what a great reminder. On some level, I imagine all of us know what it’s like to hit rock bottom. All of us have faced trouble in our lives. All of us have tasted the ashes. Swallowed the poison. Felt utterly lost and alone on some level. What I’ve discovered in my own life is that’s where God does His best work. When I came to the end of myself in 2009, I found God waiting for me there. When things were at their darkest and I had nothing left and nowhere to turn, God was with me. His loyal love did not run out. His merciful love never dried up. His faithfulness was great and transcended my broken condition. In my despair, I surrendered to Him. I entered the silence. I bowed my head in prayer. I stopped striving and trying so hard. I learned to wait. And to face my fears head on. What I discovered is the worst is never the worst because God is faithful. He will deliver those who turn to Him.

Readings for tomorrow: Lamentations 3:37-5:22